I love my social worker from Regan's adoption and she has been such a huge help to me through both adoptions,,,,,I love her, but sometimes you have to follow your gut.
On March 6, 2008 I received a return email from Katie at Journeys of the Heart. She apologized for not returning my earlier email, but she had been in India and was not able to access the internet. She told me that one of the three children I had inquired about was no longer available. She told me that she could email me a "Child Study Report" of the other two children if I was interested. I emailed her back and told her I would love to view the two children. We had some technical difficulties (I know this surprises no one who knows me!) and my computer would not accept her emails as they were too big to open. That same day, I also attended my employee processing to become an employee for the school district. I had worked there for 7 years, but as a contractor with no benefits. I now had access to benefits and insurance. I was so relieved because private insurance was a fortune and I could not switch as Regan had a pre-exisiting condition following her hospitilization. On March 7, I went home that afternoon to find an email from Katie. She could not forward the Child Study Reports, but had attached pictures of the two boys I had inquired about. I didn't know which child was which and knew they both had special needs, but wasn't sure what their special needs were.
I opened up the first email and saw a cute little boy dressed in a purple sweater. He had the curliest hair! Just a little cutie. But, I didn't feel anything deep inside. I had several pictures of this little guy and felt like I did with so many of the other children I had reviewed through different agencies. They were adorable children, but they weren't MY child.
I then opened up the second email and clicked on the first picture. Oh my gosh!!! That was him! That was my son!! I knew it the moment I looked at his picture. He was a sullen looking little boy who was staring at the camera with a warning look in his eyes!!! The email stated that he was nervous that the women who were from the adoption agency were visiting and that he refused to smile for the camera. The pictures were less than a week old! Katie also put that he was a darling boy and very active. I immediately forwarded the emails to my mom and drove to her work. I asked her what she thought and she thought that both children were cute although she thought the first email was of a girl! That purple sweater fooled her! I told her that I thought that the second child was my son and she was 1000% supportive.
I went home and received another email from Katie that included the Child Study Report for the second child. I never did see a report for the little boy in the purple sweater. I opened up the attachment and read a couple of pages about him and his special need. I told Katie that I was interested in learning more about this little boy and consulting a doctor about his special need. After reading his report, I was nervous about whether I was prepared to deal with his special need.
The next 24 hours showed me that this was truly my son!!!
To be continued...